Dear Katrina-

Hey there, little girl.

Yesterday I found myself thinking about the fragility of life and how quickly things can be taken from us. It occurred to me that, if something happened to me over the next few years, you might find yourself wondering who I was, and that this blog might be a place you could go, when someone told you about, to learn about me from me.

I am writing this letter under that assumption. Hopefully when you actually do read it, you will do so with me just a call away, giggling over how silly I'm being, because parents can be silly sometimes. But in case you need it, I'll be glad to know I did this.

Because, sweetie, my title, "Pastor" is a very, very loaded one. You'll know this from your mom, your uncle, and your Grandfather as well, but you'll also live in a world that has a lot of its own ideas of what a pastor is, and what someone like me might stand for, and I always wanted you to know who I am, or was, from me.

And now that I have said I want to do this, I find myself unsure of what exactly to say.

I hope you'll know that I did my best to care for people, which to me meant listening to them, sitting with them, talking to them, and trying to make sure that they knew they were loved by God. That is what people want from me, the truth of God, and that is my understanding of that truth.

That God loves them. And, since I am writing this to you, I hope you know that God loves you. And I mean YOU. Not the you that you could potentially be or the you before you screwed up or even the idealized you absented of sin and pain, but the you who exists today, whoever you are.

I often spend time imagining what that YOU will look like and I know it is almost impossible. It is certainly difficult to do so without creating unfair expectations. Maybe you'll love all the geeky stuff I do, maybe you'll just roll your eyes at me when I try to make you watch Star Wars. Maybe you'll like music, or just plug in your own music (if music even still requires plugs!) when I play mine. Maybe you'll walk in the faith like me, or seek out your own path.

As a preachers kid myself, I know the uncertainty of that path, and I hope I can play my part in as powerful a way as your Poppy did for me.

There may be more of these in the future as thoughts occur to me. We'll see. But above all else I want you to know how loved you are. By me, by God, by so many others. And knowing that, I hope you also love yourself.

Love,
Daddy