Reader Question- Concerning Suicide

Where do we go when  we commit suicide? I want the truth!  -Me

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This is the first question I have received in a while, and I have to admit that I spent a couple hours wondering if it was best to answer it at all. Discussion of suicide in general terms (as in, talking about the concept, rather than one specific instance) can be problematic in that you never know what narrative it will fit into. If I write the answer as if I was talking to someone grieving a suicide, it will be heard very differently by someone in the ideation process, and vice versa, and lead to me seeming to give an answer I didn't intend to.

I should also make it clear that I am not the "Me" asking the question. So if anyone is worrying if I am the one questioning the consequences of suicide, let me put those fears to rest. I'm not suicidal, or even particularly depressed.

That handled... okay, let's do this.

The church has a history of treating suicide as an unforgivable sin, but this has always been more a theological construct than a Biblical imperative. While there are Biblical characters that commit suicide (King Saul in the Old Testament, Judas Iscariot in the new) theological speculation on the fate of people who have committed suicide is absent in the scriptures.

One particularly popular line of thought was that suicide counted as murder, but as you died before you could repent your murder, you went to hell. So the idea was never so much about the severity of suicide itself as it was about the mechanics of absolution. Over time, this simple theological construct evolved into an imperative, and suicide was viewed as unforgiveable in its own right, likely in a misguided attempt to dissuade people from doing it.

If you read me all that much you know that I do not buy the idea of someone being condemned simply because of a hiccup in the divine paperwork. Just as I do not believe a baby would be condemned because no one could find water to baptize them in before they died, I don't believe that suicide is a go straight to hell card.

Short version of the truth you're asking for, I believe that people who commit suicide, just like everyone else, is covered by the love and mercy of Jesus Christ, and that we will see them again in a much happier state of grace. 

That said, I do believe that suicide is a sin, one of the most selfish acts a person is capable of. The scars left behind on all who knew them and loved them are incredibly traumatic, and can even cause "ripple effect" suicides, where the same people they hurt are then inspired to end their own lives to escape the pain caused by that first death.

In a way, I see how the early church came to the conclusions it did. They didn't have the psychological tools that we have today, but they did see the pain and trauma suicide caused and were led to an almost inevitable conclusion... whatever else this act may be, to cause so much harm and so much pain even to those not killed must be some variety of evil.

So I suppose that is the answer to the question. I believe that the saving power of Jesus Christ extends to suicides just as I believe it extends to everyone. But I will also always condemn it. Just because something won't send you to hell doesn't make it a good idea.

Top 10 Ways to Improve your Faith Life (If that is something you would like to do.)

1- Picture your best friend in the world. Now imagine that they have really angered you. I mean, made you angry in a way only our very best friends our capable of. What do you say to that person? If you wouldn't be uncomfortable saying that to God, there is plenty of room for your faith life to improve. If you are comfortable saying it, when you get angry, don't quote the ontological argument. In that moment, yell at God. Scream if you need to. God'll still be there when you're ready to come back.

2- The Bible told you to have faith like a child. Anyone who ever told you that meant unquestioning obedience has clearly never been around children. Question everything. A faith that is written in stone is dead.

3- Every friendship is different. Some folks talk on the phone for hours, others go out to events, still others work side by side in silence for days at a time. Just because someone else's idea of praying worked for them doesn't mean it will work for you. Keep experimenting.

4- Religion (ideally) exists to offer tools to equip the faithful, but it is that life of faith, not the tool, that is important. If one form of religion is only hindering your faith life, drop it like a faulty tool and shop for a replacement.

5- Faith is meant to be a source of joy in the good times and strength in the hard times. If it does the opposite, then it isn't faith, but something else entirely.

6- If their version of God is a hateful, vindictive egomaniac and yours is a loving, powerful confidant, then you are worshiping different beings. You may share a religion, but you are not sharing a God. Ignore theirs, and stick to yours.

7- The most powerful evangelical tool in the world is the believer who is a better person because of what they believe. If after seeing your life people still need a sales pitch, then no sales pitch in the world will ever be sufficient. So spare them the pitch, and instead, work on being the joy they want to see.

8- Learn to embrace creation through recreation. A life lived with as much joy as possible is one of the greatest acts of gratitude we can offer to our deity or deities of choice. And if your deity or deities reject joy, then I recommend finding another one.

9- There will always be doubt. It will never go away. That is why we call it faith. If you learn to see it as a hindrance, rather than a failing, you will learn to navigate it, like someone learning to feel their way in the dark. And when your faith is bright and easy, remember your doubt when others struggle with it.

10- Any God worth the paper their holy writings are written on know you as you are. This includes all facets of you, from your physical ability to your gender to your sexuality to your mental capacity. So be honest in your faith in all things. It is a whole lot easier to be truthful with God (as we understand God) when we are equally capable of being truthful with ourselves.

And if that truth right now is that you simply do not have faith, then don't be afraid. Don't try to force it. Because a life of real, vibrant faith can be a powerfully rewarding thing, worth far too much to risk sullying it with cheap knock offs.

Be real in your faith, or lack of faith, to yourself, to others, to the world around you. Eternity isn't going anywhere.

Dealing with Anger

So I have gone dark here lately, the longest hiatus from the blog since I started it. For a little while I was considering just being done with APD since the questions have more or less dried up and of late I was just wanting to rant about politics, and while there are times when that is necessary, I also didn't want it to define my role as pastor. There are a lot of people out there who need spiritual care, especially those who voted for Trump out of a sense of desperation, and I need to be able to serve my role to them, which is hard when they keep expecting me to beat them over the head with the politics of our time.

In the church I have had quite a few more people approaching me for spiritual counseling lately, and doing that has made me think it might be time to re-up the spiritual care aspect of the blog.

You all know my opinions, politically. Donald Trump, beloved of Christ though he may be, has created a political persona that is very nearly the antithesis of everything I believe a Christian should be and does so with the audacity to claim not just Christian love, but my own denomination. It seems like everything he does is an affront to both my religious understanding and my general desire to just be a good person.

For now, I will leave it at that, at least so far as this Blog goes.

On to the stuff the folks I know really need.

And as always, if you have questions, feel free to use the form, or to contact me via twitter or facebook!