Holy Week Holla Back

So it's Holy Week (TM), the week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday and there is, shall we say, a LOT going on right now. In addition to the extra services (Maundy Thursday and Good Friday) I get a lot of people (both members of my church and not) who call on me because this is a time of year when they want to "Get Right With God."

What this often means is that they haven't been to church since last Easter, and want to get in here and talk to me (or at least talk to me on the phone) so that it hasn't been a full liturgical year since the last time they darkened a church's doorstep.

For the record, that sort of thing is amusing to me, at least the first few times it happens each year. As I have told you all often enough, I am not here to issue spiritual report cards. I am, of course, happy to meet with people and offer comfort where it is needed, but about the fourth time I get used as a spiritual life hack, it gets a bit trying, especially when it happens on the busiest week of my year.

So, as you might have guessed, I am a little frazzled this week. So I won't be diving into questions, because I have some good ones in the queue and they deserve far more serious introspection than I am currently capable of. Instead, because I want to keep getting new stuff up, I'm gonna do a sort of FAQ of questions that I get repeatedly, if not necessarily in the context of ANF or the blog.

What is the hardest part of being a pastor?

Dumb Christians. Or Evil Christians. Knowing that whenever I see someone doing something stupid or hateful in the name of my faith that I am, eventually, going to have to answer for it. Because I'm not just a Christian, I'm a Christian leader, and that means that I am, at least somewhat, responsible for trying to make those things happen less often.

What is the best part of being a pastor?

I am invited into a special place in the lives of many different and varied people. I get to perform baptisms, officiate at weddings, and I am one of the few who can get passed nearly any locked door in hospitals. I get to help people at their most vulnerable, and in some of their greatest victories. I get to see the full range of life from my congregation. And I get paid to do it.

What is the strangest thing that has happened to you as a pastor?

The success of Ask Pastor Dan is very certainly in the running, but apparently I give off something of a vibe. I'll have people stopping me on the streets to share their stories, or to ask for prayer, even when I'm not wearing anything that marks me as clergy. One time I was sitting in a Burger King, eating lunch, when this guy just plopped down opposite of me in the booth and started sharing his life story, and asked me to pray for him, after. I did so, and when I asked him why, he just shrugged, said I seemed the type who would, and walked out. I think the weirdest part of being a pastor is the fact that it doesn't seem like I had much of a choice in it... people came to me for pastoring regardless.

What is the best joke you've heard as a Pastor?

I get a fair share of ministry related jokes, but the best ones are the heretical ones. An example:

Word was spreading through heaven that God was going on vacation. This hadn't happened in some time and so the angels were all a-twitter about it, and everyone was wondering where God would go. Finally, the Arch-Angel Micheal decided to just ask. So he walked up to God and said;

"Hey, I hear you're going on vacation!"

God responded, "Well, yeah, I think it's about time."

"Any idea where you'll go?"

"Well, not Earth, that's for certain. I went there about 2,000 years ago, got some Jewish girl pregnant, and those darned Christians haven't stopped talking about it since!"

If you weren't a Pastor, what would you do?

Well, like I said, I probably would be a pastor no matter what I tried. But professionally, I was all geared up to be an English/History teacher. Some kids out there have NO idea how lucky they are. I'd have been a NIGHTMARE.

You say you like to mess with people, as a Pastor. How do you mean?

The first time people at a poker table or in a gaming store find out that I am clergy, I can usually tell who I can mess with. The reactions can be pretty big. My usual trick is pretending that being a Pastor gives me special powers, like God lets me hack the universe. (For those who are wondering, God has not shown any inclination for helping me with die rolls or card pulls.) Still, giving God a wink and thumbs up after a nat 20 or hitting the perfect card on the River has REALLY trolled some people.

Another way has been to show up in odd places with clerical markings, like a collar. It REALLY trips them up at Spencers. Also, one time I was in the Airport where a flight had been delayed. Everyone was being horrible to the Airline Attendant (who has NO power in that situation) and so Rose and I both just sat nearby with big smiles on our faces. Suddenly everyone was a LOT more respectful.

All in hopes of getting a better spiritual grade, I guess.

Saturday Ramble- Young Justice

I was flipping through my Netflix queue the other day and stumbled across Young Justice, a superhero animated tv show following the adventures of a teen-aged cadre of superhero sidekicks. DC has had several teams like this in their lineup, typically under the name of the Teen Titans, but Young Justice was different from the get go. Only their first season was on the streaming service, but I enjoyed it.

I picked an episode at random when I noticed that the show is getting pulled from Netflix soon... March 30th, 2015 to be precise. That made me sad... and so I thought I'd take an entry to say why, exactly, this series was so good.

DC Animated has always had a knack for getting into the heads of their various characters, showing a self-awareness their movies could certainly stand to learn from, all the while never losing the fun of having a bunch of folks with superpowers in funny outfits running around.  Young Justice took that self-awareness and applied it to the very idea of the superhero sidekick in a way that I had never seen before.

The main characters of the Team (at least in season 1) are Robin, Kid Flash, Aqualad, Superboy, Miss Martian and Artemis. The team initially forms when a number of superhero sidekicks are offered membership to the Justice League, only to learn that said membership entirely ceremonial... they still are not being recognized as full heroes nor made privy to League secrets. They react to this by taking on a mission on their own initiative, which leads them to discover a secret organization plotting against the Justice League, and in so doing gain the grudging respect of the League, forcing them to at least recognize that the newly forming group has some merit.

Over time, the League comes to see the Team as a covert ops group, and as well as a training ground for younger heroes.  So far, no different from any other similar franchise, but as always, the devil is in the details. Young Justice found an incredible balance of comic book action and teen drama, writing characters that were both recognizably teenagers AND recognizably heroes, with interactions that played enough in sitcom humor to stay lighthearted while tackling real worries both on a personal and global scale.

It didn't end with the teenagers, either. Often, shows that take the "No One Takes Us Seriously!" route turn adults into the real foils, but not so here. The Justice League take on the role of teachers, mentors, and (when needed) protectors of their younger counterparts. They sometimes underestimate the Team's abilities, or maturity, but never come across as completely dismissive of the younger ones. Even if one member dismisses them, another will take their back, creating a beautifully fluid dynamic between the main cast and their support network.

Nowhere is that dynamic more beautifully shown than in the character of Captain Marvel, also known (for dizzying copyright reasons) as Shazaam. One of the founding members of the league in this continuity, the Captain possesses an incredible amount of power and wisdom, but unbeknownst to the Team (or even most of the League) uses that magic to transform between the Super-powered Captain and his secret identity... the ten year old Billy Batson.

The addition of a League Member who is also ten years old creates yet another dynamic to explore. To most ten year olds, getting to hang out with teenagers is a dream come true, and so Captain Marvel keeps showing up even when he ISN'T technically on duty with the Team, just because he thinks they're a lot of fun. (There is a GREAT scene where Cap shows up in Zombie makeup to go out on Halloween night with the Team, only to learn her isn't invited, and so storms off saying that he is going Trick or Treating and isn't going to share his candy with ANYbody.)

The show is NOT without its faults. Kid Flash's overly-flirty shtick quickly loses it's charm and walks a very dangerous line with sexual harassment, and the show playing it for laughs in a "boys will be boys" way is the sort of thing a show like this should have known better than to do. Kid Flash sort of grows out of it, but is never really called out for it and you figure eventually one of his female teammates (or at least team Trainer, Black Canary, who ALSO gets some of his lines) would have told him to knock it off, already, instead of waving it away with a stereotypical "oh, boys," female eyeroll.

The use of romance in general is hit or miss. They manage to do some interesting things with the dynamic between Miss Martian and Superboy (including a dressing down for Superboy when he tries to be her protector, rather than teammate) but the hate to love dynamic between Artemis and Wally is a tad over-played sitcom. The best relationship is probably between Zatanna (a later addition) and Robin, in that it is only just barely there in a way that seems somewhat fitting for the age group. The addition of Rocket in the second to last episode, however, felt so strange until the end of the final episode, when it seems like she's just there because SOMEONE has to kiss Aqualad, darnnit!  Still, given the usual miscues that comics can make with the concepts of romance and sexual harassment, Young Justice seems nearly revolutionary.

The show did well for itself during it's primary run on Cartoon Network, including some Emmy nods and even a win for animation. It got pulled rather unexpectedly, and some of the theory is that it was because the fanbase it was pulling was largely female... which supposedly doesn't by superhero toys. (And here I thought I'd been hanging out with some girls all my life. Turns out I haven't been... they all liked toys!)

So if you haven't already, give it a look before it vanishes from the Webs. I promise you it's worthwhile, warts and all. I'm going to be looking for a way to get hard copies of my own, because I honestly don't know if DC has another Young Justice in them, and so I'd like to have it available for any teenagers I care about to see.

So long as everyone understands that Kid Flash's behavior is NOT acceptable, that is.

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

I now interrupt my usual question answering for a rant.

The so-called "Protect Religious Freedom" act in Indiana is getting a lot of press right now, but the fact of the matter is that similar bills are being proposed all over the country. The door for this was of course opened by the infamous Hobby Lobby ruling from last year, and it looks like, as marriage equality continues to win court cases around the country, the last gasp of this particular brand of social bigotry. Eventually, as the numbers continue to swing, it will no longer be politically viable to back such a thing.

That doesn't make this law, or the others like it, any less despicable.

Many major events and business, like Gen Con, have already announced their intent to cut ties with Indiana over the bill. Good for them. I was particular happy to hear the the Disciple of Christ church will be moving their convention, which is especially good... we NEED religious leaders to stand vocally against such legislation, because the supporters are couching their arguments in the language of religious freedom.

And that, my fellow Christians, is where we need to stand up and oppose them, not only with our voices, but with our wallets.

But I also think that there should be a requirement for the laws like this one, when they do pass. And that requirement should be that if a business truly wants to invoke these supposed rights, they must do so plainly, and publicly.

To wit, they need a large, easily viewed sticker or decal that is to be placed on their door, signage, and all advertising that states that they refuse to serve people based on their own religious freedom. No hiding in the back, no mentioning it in passing when you get the "gay vibe" from someone in your store. No take-backsies if it's a really big contract.

You either invoke this right, and so let everyone know, or you don't. This isn't completely out of left field, either. You can't just claim to be a religious conscientious objector to get out of a Draft in the US. You have to prove your convictions. This seems a perfectly reasonable way to prove them.

Barring that, we need an easily visible sticker or decal that can be placed in the advertising of any business or the like in places like that which cannot leave, to announce that they do NOT invoke that right, and serve everyone, and make it clear that if you do not have that sticker, it cannot be assumed that you welcome everyone to the store.

We need to make people wear it publicly. You gotta be out, on this one. No hiding, no wishiwashiness. If you truly are making this a religious claim, then you should be able to stand up proudly and chase away the growing number of customers who will not stand for such a thing. And if you don't have the courage to that, if you're worried that such a public gesture would negatively impact your business too far, THEN MAYBE OPPRESSING PEOPLE IN THE NAME OF YOUR RELIGION MAYBE ISN'T A DEEPLY HELD BELIEF, BUT RATHER AN ACT OF COWARDICE.

No more hiding. No more humiliating people by letting them walk in and then being able to send them away. We've been exposing people who don't fit the cis-het paradigm for too long. It's time to force the bigots to come out of the closet.

I'm Pastor Dan McCurdy, the Pastor at First Presbyterian Church of Weyauwega, WI. I support the rights of the LGBTQ community, and believe that anyone who tries to oppress them under the banner of "religious freedom" should be severely censured, or at least, made to put their money where their mouth is.

Reader Question- Facing Addiction

A few months ago I faced the fact that I am addicted to alcohol. I hate the idea of something controlling me like that, but I haven't had any luck quitting, and I'm scared if I ask for help, people will judge me for being weak. Any advice? - Anonymous
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Thanks for writing, Anonymous. You're not alone.

Addiction is a very serious problem that affects millions, if not billions, of people, whether directly or through relationships that non-addicts have with addicts. Despite this, it is also one of the most misunderstood conditions of the human experience, affecting us physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I'll admit that I have been sitting on your question for awhile now, because I wasn't sure exactly how to tackle it. I am not myself an addict, though some people I love are, and so the temptation to speak as more of an expert than I actually am is very, very real. It was another discussion I saw and participated in that triggered me to finally take a swing at this.

You've asked for advice, and I'll give it... get help. There will be a million little voices in your head giving good reasons not to, reasons from personal embarrassment to worry about the methods a variety of help uses. You have to get passed them, because they're not what they sound like.

Most of those voices are liars. They don't actually worry about judgement, not really. You know that different methods work for different people and there's no way to know what will help you without trying. You know that quitting will be hard work, and you're not actually that scared of the hard work. What you are worried about is simple... you're worried that if you get help, you won't drink anymore, and you really want to drink.

99% of what you hear in your head is along those lines, and they are hurdles you need to get over. Get to a counselor, get to a meeting, and get sober. No one there will judge you... they've all walked the same road. Other people aren't really looking... except maybe if they see some of their own weaknesses in you, and that is their baggage, not yours.

Some people want the Biblical angle, but it's actually fairly simple. We are called to try to be healthy. To respect our bodies. Addiction is a hindrance to that and so needs to be overcome, even while acknowledging that such hindrances are a part of life.

So that is what I have... you've got to go. More goes beyond my experience and I don't want to get in the way of the most important message: GET HELP. Not tomorrow, not eventually, now. I will leave you with a message from someone who understands addiction as an addict, though, a message plenty of people need to see. He says it better than me, all while being funny as well.

If you need to talk more personally, shoot me a message. If you'd rather talk to an expert, you can find one at places like http://www.recovery.org.

God bless. You CAN do it.

Reader Question- Sex, Porn, and Masturbation

Is masturbation this grievous sin my church makes it out to be? Is porn really so evil (as long as the actors have previously consented to the acts). Is sex outside of marriage really wrong? I've been a christian all my life but coming to college and being in this new environment has got me thinking about things, with very few sound answers. I'd love to hear your thoughts! -Rachel------------

Well, this should give the ol' views counter a kick in the pants, eh? Thanks for writing in, Rachel!

We've talked a bit about sex before on this blog, largely because when it comes to sex, or things sexually related, the church hasn't got the greatest track record. Sometimes it's because sex is a great distractor, and so if you can get people focused on it then they aren't looking at other, more important things. Sex sells, as it were, and that is true even if you are opposing it. It motivates us, touches us deeply (and not all in a nice way.)

I can't believe I just made that pun. Let's move on. So, let's take a look at your questions one at a time.

Masturbation is NEVER directly mentioned in the Bible. Not once. It's hard to make the argument that it is a sin at all, let alone a grievous one. I think the reason it so often gets thrown into the sin camp is because; "Well, feels good, gotta be a sin, right?" That, and the fact that it often gets tied up into your next question.

If we start off by assuming that all the actors in porn are consenting (something which maybe gets assumed a little too often) then the primary problem with porn, Biblically speaking, is that it exists solely for the purpose of titillation, taking a human being and turning them solely into an object of sexual desire, rather than the living, breathing, image of God that they are. It's often forgotten how important the imago dei is in Christian theology, but it is. There is a core level of respect that people who follow the Bible are expected to maintain for all human beings, regardless of their station in life.

That, I think, is what makes porn problematic, and potentially evil. It's not that it makes us feel funny in our bathing suit areas, but that it encourages us to treat human beings as something less. Even if they consented to it, that doesn't make it okay. And that is where masturbation gets caught up in it... because despite the fact that masturbation isn't prohibited by the scriptures, if we use the fact that it feels good to help us rationalize dehumanizing others, then we have a problem.

I've discussed extra-marital sex in greater detail here. As before, I feel that the reason the Church's rocky history with sexuality is problematic is that, while it does make a great theological smoke screen, the vulnerability that comes with sex does lead to a greater potential to really hurt someone else. It's no accidents that some of the most shocking punishments ever administered in the Bible were for rape.

So while I don't think that sexual activity is the great evil of this (or any) age, I do think that it should be approached with greater care and respect than it sometimes is. Consent does not rule out the possibility of abuse, as anyone who has counseled abused people can tell you.

Good luck feeling out where you fall on these issues.

Oh God, I did it again.

Remembering Faye

So I got a call this morning that an elderly woman named Faye had passed, and was informed of the funeral arrangements she had made and my expected part in them. It's a thing you get used to, eventually, being a pastor.

Unless it was Faye... because I don't think I will ever be used to my (very) brief role in her life.

I found out about Faye a couple of months back and was appalled. You see, as a new Pastor to a church I take getting to see my shut-ins very, very seriously, and so the fact I had been here more than a year without even knowing about her existence made me ready to bust some heads. That was when I arrived, and learned why I had never heard about her... 

It was because that was precisely how she wanted it.

Faye went beyond introverted; she had anxieties around meeting new people (or even old friends) that went beyond the introverted dreams of Tumblr posts. She'd been having an "episode" (bad coughing fits connected to her highly advanced lung cancer) and so was really, really medicated when I arrived, which she said had helped to her talk at all.

She explained that church itself was a very important part of her life, but also it's biggest hurdle. My church, specifically, because she knew she was loved and welcomed there, would always be greeted warmly, as a friend, no matter how long she had been gone... and that, of course, was the problem.

She told the story of sneaking in one Christmas Eve, figuring that with everyone so focused on kids and presents that she could go unremarked, absorb the holiday family feels by osmosis. No luck... a family saw her sitting alone and begged her to come and join them, including inviting her to Christmas Dinner the next day. One anxiety attack later, she realized that the same thing she loved about this church that she called hers was what would keep her from it.

At other churches she could ghost in, ghost out, unseen (or a  least uncommented) by anyone. She knew that wasn't what Church was about, though, and didn't go to those places, either. Eventually she stopped going all together, and eventually got the idea across that well meaning visitors would not be needed or wanted. It took awhile, but the church learned, so that by the time I was there, she went unmentioned. When I asked folks about her, they took awhile before slapping their heads, and advising me not to go very often.

I didn't. I told Faye while we talked that if she wanted to talk to me again, she could call, I promised I wouldn't just "drop in," which calmed her. I felt like a horrible person doing so because it made me feel like I would be neglecting her, but that was what she asked for. I hoped she would call. She never did. She only called me the first time because she'd thought she was dying that morning, and I guess she decided that prayer would cover her when she actually was dying, that or she was finally unable to vocalize. I hope it was the former.

Even her funeral will be insanely private. No friends, no family, just me, an urn of cremains, and a prayer. There's apparently a full funeral honorarium waiting for me to drive home the point... this is what she wants and what she is paying for, and she is insisting on paying full price.

I think the whole reason I am writing this is to feel that I am inviting her to be remembered in a way that would have appealed... relatively anonymously on the internet. In a later generation I feel she would have loved facebook groups or virtual churches, places where she could partake in social interaction without having to be in the room. Or I hope so. Maybe I just want to feel that I am doing SOMETHING for her.

I did exactly what she wanted, and, since she wasn't a member anymore, more than was strictly required of my job description. It absolutely is not what I want to do for people who call me their pastor. I wanted to be there, to hold her hand, to tell her she wasn't alone.

And yet, if I told her that, she would have died panicked.

I'll never forget you, Faye. I will never stop wondering if there was a way to invite you into the church you wanted to be a part of that wouldn't panic you without making it a church that had no appeal. I will look at my congregation of welcoming, loving people and wonder, in the back of my head, who that very opening, welcoming attitude is scaring away. You raise questions that have no good answer... to be a church you would have been comfortable attending, we would have had to become the kind of church you didn't want to attend.

Bless you, Faye. Introversion isn't a disease, but I hope the anxiety that came with yours is healed in the next life. Because I believe that everyone goes to heaven, and the idea of you in such a crowded place is both making me smile and breaking my heart.

Reader Question- Faith and Love

I see that you're writing about the Abrahamic god. But by what mechanism and logical process have you summarily eliminated Brahma, Allah, Ra, Zeus, Yu-huang, etc.(I could go on for thousands) and their compelling stories and explanations for the world and how it works?  -Anonymous
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Thanks for writing in, Anon. 

I get variations of this question from time to time, and they always make me feel a little weird, because my answer is usually; "Well, I didn't." But I always get the impression that the asker KNOWS that I didn't... because of course I didn't. I know a lot of people who think very seriously about faith and religion and to my knowledge none have even attempted this.

Some of the more aggressive atheists that I know often use such statements to belittle the concept of faith, as if the only reason the faithful are the faithful is because we haven't fully thought it through, and here is the supposed proof: of all the revelations and faith stories out there, we couldn't possibly have truly sampled them all, and so how do we know that we are "right," so to speak.

We don't. We're doing faith, not science. You can talk about mechanisms and logical processes all day... they really don't help you all that much, here.

For some people, that's the end of it, the smoking gun that shows that faith is simply a crutch for irrational people. They may even be right, but religious faith is not so unique in this regard as some people think. There is another aspect of our lives that exists outside of our mechanisms and logical processes... love.

When thought about in a rational way, love is, put simply, a stupid risk, if it truly exists at all; an old fashioned way of thinking that causes far more problems than it gives solutions, unnecessary in our world.   

I mean think about it... REALLY think about it. What is love, REALLY? How many different tales are there out there about what it means to actually be in love? How many people who swear that their way is the only real way? 

And the damage it causes! Just think of all the broken hearts, and that's including so-called "good" love. How many people have hurt or even killed others claiming to be motivated by love? How many people maybe were actually in a place of love, but then took it's claims too far and became abusive? Or how many claimed love, only to use it for the sake of control or to use another human being? How many people have stayed in dangerous situations because of love?

All of this... and for what benefit? What does love gain people that they could not also achieve through other, less controversial means? It isn't necessary for procreation, simple friendships can provide companionship, some even argue that resolving sexual needs is best done without it. I mean, if sex was simply a matter of wanting sexual release, and then finding someone else who also wanted it, wouldn't everything just be easier? Fewer worries about consent, or obligation, that get tied up in things when you bring the term love to the table? 

And how do you decide you're in love? How do you decide WHO to love? So you love this one person? By what mechanic have you decided that they are best for you, the most compelling? By what logical process have you eliminated the other billions of people in the world who might be a better match? If you haven't bothered to do your homework... what are you even doing, loving someone?

Every argument I just gave is true... and also ridiculous. Because love ISN'T about doing the math, and in general, people know that. It's not about logical conclusions or mechanisms. It's something we do despite the risks because... well... because. It's an irrational thing, and so it doesn't make ANY sense at all in rational terms. It is still a choice... love must be nurtured, it ebbs and flows... but it's not gonna make much sense on a spreadsheet. Ultimately, love is an act of faith, not religious faith, but faith in someone else, despite the risks and unknowns.

Religious faith works in a similar way. They aren't rational. There are no tangible benefits that can't be gained elsewhere. And they are certainly vulnerable to abuse.  And yet, for so many people they are simply a fact of life, something that it is hard to imagine living without. 

This isn't to say that they are directly tied... one can certainly love without needing religion. It's also not meant as apologia. I guess what I am going for, here, is education. If you are not a person of religion, maybe this is a reasonable example of how an intelligent person could hold an irrational point of view.

Or, maybe not. That too. 

Reader Question- Creative Process

I've noticed that you always seem to be coming up with new creative projects. Which is your favorite, and where do your ideas come from?- Aidan
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Oh, Aidan. I could never pick a favorite project. My creative projects are like my children. My illegitimately conceived, oft-neglected children.

The other day, when I was depressed over the death of Terry Pratchett, I looked up his books and got a bit blown away. I knew he was prolific but jeez. It's something to the tune of 50 books. I made the comment that I could never hope to get so many books written, when my wife made the comment that if I finished half the projects I've started, I'd be there already.

Your truths, they hurt us, woman.

Of all the projects I have bubbling somewhere in my skull, my favorite (of the moment) is probably my card game, Night of the Living Daycare, because of all my projects, it isn't the one you'd think would make it as far to completion as it has.

The card game was conceived when I was working at a Daycare in San Antonio, Texas. I had the afterschool group... kids who were in school but still needed somewhere to go between when they got out of school and when their parents got off of work. It wasn't the greatest situation ever for them. Being a daycare, the toys and games available were not age appropriate save for a handful of board and card games which quickly got played out.

So this one day my kids were sitting around wondering what we were going to do next. There was a day to day curriculum to follow but my kids had knocked it out in about an hour and so I had three more to fill. So I had them each get construction paper and divide it up so they could make 8 cards, and had a brainstorm.

On their cards, I had each of them draw two of the daycare teachers as monsters, and then four places to hide in the Daycare, and then a picture of the front door and the guardian who usually picked them up. While they were drawing and coloring I made up the rules in my head, and then BOOM, we started playing.

The idea behind the game was that the teachers had been turned into monsters, and the kids needed to hide and ultimately escape. That first version was horribly balanced, a bloodbath.

But the kids loved it, they played it all the time. So I got started rebalancing it so it could be won, and ultimately got the cards printed and had a real deck... a real game. It was so much fun.

That's why I create... from the random ideas that crash into my brain when needed, or when I'm bored. And sometimes they go all the way to completion.

Now I just need to learn how to complete the ones that don't.

Reader Question- Best Pastor Questions!

My church is currently searching for a new pastor and I am on the call committee. What are some of the best questions you were asked when interviewing for pastor jobs? What are some of the worst?
-Christine
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Ooh, cool question, Christine.

In the Presbyterian Church, Pastors are not assigned by Bishops, but rather find their calling through mutual agreement with a congregation. This means a LOT of interviews via phone, skype, and eventually in person, to see if a fit would be good. This is all facilitated now through a website the denomination runs which operates eerily similarly to match.com.

And like anyone who has tried internet dating knows, your mileage may vary.

I'm gonna start with the bad questions, first. In general, you don't get anything really bad, because while there are definitely some very broken congregations out there, most know that you can't walk around being openly racist or homophobic. Pastors in general tend to be more liberal than their congregations (at least in my denomination) and so churches that are getting desperate often try to... ah... sugarcoat the situation so you'll come to them.

The worst question I ever got, though, did not. This is the entirety of the interview.

Interviewer: Is this Rev. McCurdy?
Me: Well, not a Reverend yet, but yes.
Interviewer: Oh, right. So, for starters, what are your views on homosexual ordination?
Me: I support it.
Interviewer: (click)

In retrospect, at least they were straightforward. I'm pretty sure I would have been miserable in that church, so maybe it was actually a positive thing. Other questions about homosexuals were even more awkward.

Interviewer: Really? Even though in such-and-such scripture it says...
Me: Well, if you actually read the passage, you see it is actually condemning rape. Which I do condemn. 
Interviewer: But Pat Robertson said...

I'll spare you the rest. Another fun one touched on my views of female ordination, if indirectly. It was a bit of a downer as it came at the end of a really great interview, in other respects.

Interviewer: And you have a family?
Me: Yeah, my wife and my dog.
Interviewer: Oooh! Are you going to be having babies?
Me: Uhh...
Interviewer: Our last pastor didn't. I really think it's why she didn't work out, here. I'm all for women in leadership, but they ought to follow their primary calling, first.
Me: Well, thank you for your time.

I also want to make clear that I talked to almost a hundred congregations during my search, so these are just a few REALLY bad seeds. Others could be awkward, but you'll have that everywhere.

The best questions were the ones that didn't harp over ideological conformity but rather my actual position as a pastor. They would start by informing me of the situation the church was in and asking how I would approach such a situation. They wanted to know how my theology would affect my ministry, not fill out a "liberal or conservative" checklist.

My absolutely favorite question, however, did involve such a question, because it had to. That conversation, done in person, went like this.

Interviewer: We haven't... really talked about the homosexual issue yet.
Me: Yeah, I was kinda wondering if it would come up.
Interviewer: We have really enjoyed getting to know you, but there is something we need to know about you before we get any farther.
Me: Uh, ok. (getting nervous, because I had enjoyed them, as well.)
Interviewer: In our church, we have a lesbian couple. They are long time members and beloved. We need to know that the Pastor we call will be able to treat them as beloved members, and be their pastor. Can you do that?
Me: You know what? I absolutely can.

Three weeks later I accepted the call to their church, and have never regretted it since. And that, dear readers, is a great question to ask a potential pastor.