A lot of my colleagues, some of them good friends, have posted their prayers or calls for prayers over the health of the President and the First Lady on their walls today. I want to acknowledge that this is, in fact, a Christian response. We should always hope and work for the well being of any member of God's creation, and not let their actions dictate our own.
That said, today, the going on that count is not easy. For me, and I know for others as well. There is distrust (Is this real, or just another lie from the pathological liar?) there is worry (How many more people will he endanger with his reckless behavior?) there is anger (Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequence of your own actions.).
We're supposed to show empathy, sympathy for him and his family, wish them well, and pray for them. And well, I... as a sinner, it is true... I just can't.
Part of it is compassion fatigue. 2020 has been a royal mess. I've lost good friends this year for a myriad of reasons. I know of good people who have been hurt and are continually being hurt largely by Trump's decisions. And so for Trump's utterly irresponsible and frankly criminal response to Covid to land so thoroughly in his lap... I find myself utterly unwilling to spend my energy praying that the man be spared the consequence of his repeated and ongoing actions.
And yeah, it's hypocritical. After all, Salvation itself is Christ saving us from our repeated and ongoing actions. It's not particularly healthy, either... much like his taxes, Trump has repeatedly failed to pay rent for the space he's occupied in my head for the last 4 years. Forgiving him, praying for him, letting him go might be a mentally healthy decision on my part, but I'm not there yet. (It's also worth remembering that his crimes have most affected the poor, the immigrants, the people of color, which makes them absolutely not mine to forgive.)
So I look now to those like me. You've heard it from me... praying for your enemies, for those who hurt you, can be freeing, liberating. It's a way to let them go (and, as Jesus adds, pour some hot coals on their heads in the process) and let your actions not be affected by such negative influences.
But if you can't, you need to know that you are covered, as well. A full third of the Psalms are Psalms of rage at the enemies of the People of God, rage at those who hurt them, who persecuted them, who tore them down over and over and over again. Those Psalms did not mince words, did not back away from the rage, did not spend six paragraphs on the need to forgive and pray for the health of those who hurt them.
Your rage, your hurt, your fear, your desperation are all real. And they are not invalidated by an inability to spare much sympathy for the author of our current crisis who is assured to get the very best of medical care that he permits his doctors to administer. Our tax dollars will pay for his wellbeing, so its okay if you're not ready to spend your mental energy on it as well. We're in a Pandemic, and spoons are limited.
So if you just can't pray for Donald Trump, pray for those who also suffer due to his action and inaction, but who lack such a comprehensive safety net. Share your love with those around you, give aid to those who truly need it. And if your anger demands to be heard, to be vocalized, remember that not only does the Bible understand such actions... it helpfully provides a script, should you need one.
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