It seems that recently I've heard several Christians (prominent and
otherwise) declare that God doesn't want us to be happy, but holy. Also,
along those same lines, they proclaim that if a Christian is "living
with sin" that they temporarily lose their vital connection with God
(not their salvation, just their personal connection). My question is
what do you think about that line of reasoning? Does God care nothing
about our completeness and ability to live a full and joyful life as
long as we end up "holy" that side of the grave? Why is it that whenever
the righteous character of God is emphasized, it always seems to be at
the expense of his compassion and grace?
--Sarah
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Sarah, before I take my shot at your question, I want you to know that I read it awhile ago, and then went on vacation, not intending ANY posts while I was gone, and then suddenly it came back to me and hit me like a hammer. I just HAD to answer it. If that doesn't scream "good question" then I don't know what does, so thanks for the question!
I, too, have heard that God wants us to be holy, not happy. And it's bullshit. But it's the kind of bullshit that resounds and strikes a chord and even occasionally rings true, and that is because of the truth it contains, which is to say, just enough to be harmful.
God does, indeed, want us to be holy. God loves us, and our unholiness forces separation, and so of COURSE God would rather we were holy.
What's more, holiness itself is quite conducive to happiness. The things we do in order to be happy often fail to make us actually be happy, and so lead to unhappiness. Often, the sort of thing I just described is also unholy. (The correlation is quite high.) When raising children, we often find ourselves forced to do prevent them from doing things that would make them happy in the short term because of long-term consequences.
And while those parents could say that they want us to be healthy, not happy, they usually don't, because while even in the sense I described above you could claim that statement to be loosely true, it is also totally misleading.
God loves you, wants you to be happy. Holiness is a means to that end, practiced in the light of long term understandings that go far beyond what any parent is capable of with a child. Your happiness is deeply, powerfully, important to God. And ever implying otherwise is horrifically wrong, because deep down most (I even feel comfortable saying all) of us have those moments when we are not only unhappy, but feel that our unhappiness is somehow deserved. And so when we hear that God doesn't care about our happiness, we might be inclined to believe it, which moves it squarely into the bullshit category.
So why does it get spouted so much? As it happens, your next question touches the reason nicely. Not only fun questions, but you practically planned my segue for me as well! How thoughtful!
"Living in sin" is biblical language that has become divorced from its original meaning. Once upon a time, someone who lived in sin was someone who sinned, well, a lot. Now, it means someone else who sins a lot in a way of which the speaker doesn't approve.
You see, when you define "living in sin" as "sinning a lot" you have just described, well, everybody. And it's really hard to point fingers and feel self-righteous when the phrase you use also applies to you. It's a real buzzkill, in fact. And so, our definitions changed.
"Living in sin" has since shifted to describe people who live openly in what some others would describe as a particularly naughty sin. For instance, living with someone without being married to them. Or living married to a divorced person. Or living with a gay person. Because we all sin a lot, sure, but THOSE people are LIVING in sin. I at least feel bad about my sin! (Sometimes. Mostly. When I'm reminded of it. And I really did it. I mean, I think I'm doing pretty okay...) THEY aren't even repenting! And so we can live comfortably in the knowledge that they are worse than us.
But they're in love, you say? They nurture and support one another? Care for one another in a way that is suspiciously and alarmingly beautiful and (dare I say it?) Christ-like? Well, no matter. God wants us to be holy, not happy. So long (and this is important) as my rubric for holiness is being observed.
(I really look forward to the above paragraphs being quoted out of context. In fact, I hope it happens. I'll feel I've really arrived, Internet-wise.)
God's love is often hugely problematic for people who like to grind the holiness axe. I believe that this is borne of fear, of the need to believe that we are worthy of love and happiness. This can be a huge problem for (and I am speaking generally here) everybody ever, and one of the easiest (if least fulfilling) ways to assuage such concerns are by throwing others under the bus so that we can feel superior to them.
Ever heard someone give a powerful opinion on an issue that affects them, apparently, not at all, and wondered why they bothered? THIS is how it affects them. They have built their happiness on an illusion of superiority, and if they ever (even for a moment) allowed the idea that God loves those other people as much as them to permeate, the whole thing would come crashing down.
Such as state is pitiable, and as I said, pretty much everyone can empathize. But building your concept of self-worth and happiness in such a way is a short term fix at best, and has long ranging negative effects for everyone involved, including you. It isn't healthy, it isn't happy. It most definitely isn't holy.
And God wants you Healthy, Happy, AND Holy.
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