Reader Question- How do I show that I'm not with the Crazies!?

I, as an atheist, share a problem with those of the religious community who are not frothing fanatics. My question, therefore, is this. How do you best get others to understand that fanatics are (generally) the outliers of any community while moderators are what most people are? This, of course, once just saying the words and explaining bell curves fails.    -Billy

Thanks for writing, Billy.

For starters, I always feel that this is an unfair place for any North American Atheist to sit. North American Frothers tend to be religious. That said, there is always a fear of the other, and in North America that is where atheists sit... the place of the other.

So I wouldn't put any North American Atheist that I have heard of in the "frother" designation,  there are some that I would put in the "jerk" designation, people who have apparently responded to the bullishness they found in Christianity by responding in kind, being aggressive about their atheism and ranging from dismissive to outright contemptuous of people of faith. While they certainly have the right to speak their minds and vent their anger, they do occasionally make it hard for other atheists when Christians start thinking that all atheists are like them, because in general, they are the only ones who are talking.

I totally get wanting to differentiate from that. But the answer takes a bit of vulnerability. For instance, you have to be "out."

There was a strong desire when I joined the Nerdfighter community to keep my head down about my faith, because there were a lot of people who were jumping all over believers. I understand that, I really do. North American Atheists are used to being the minority, and so being in a community where they were evenly represented, or perhaps even a majority? Finally, a place where other non-believers have your back. GO! Even better, because the believers were also Nerdfighters, we recognized that in many ways, our faith (if not necessarily we ourselves) had it coming. Some of us fought back (because, you know, it's the internet) but most of us just kept our heads down.

(Please note I am not trying to say this is like the persecution Atheists can face on a day to day basis. I was never in danger of physical harm or losing my job. But I was made to feel like an outcast in a group of people I wanted as friends.)

That was when I decided to go the other way, to be completely out as a believer, to invite people to ask questions about that faith and to do my best to answer. My early AMA's had only one rule... ask out of curiosity, not out of contempt.

Slowly, as people came to recognize me on the board not only as a Nerdfighter but as a Christian, I noticed some of the knee-jerk Christian bashing subside a bit. Not because Christianity in the world had gotten better (We still have a LONG way to go) but I think, because I had become an actual face, a human being who wore what had been a hated label.

For a whole lot of North American Christians, Atheists are essentially boogey-men, shadowy figures they have been warned about, those dangerous godless liberals who want to take away our religious freedoms! It doesn't matter that such a distinction is clearly ludicrous, because the Atheists, to them, aren't really real people, just ideas, ghosts.

By being "Out," you can put a face on Atheism. Not being a child-eating rage monster, you can't but look good in comparison to the boogey-man, and so the next time that person considers Atheists, they might think to themselves, "Well, but Billy's a good person... and an Atheist!" It probably won't be conscious like that, but over time, it can happen.

That said, an Atheist in North America takes risks by being openly atheist that a Pastor in a Nerdfighter Internet group doesn't even approach. It may not be a risk you feel like taking, and that is completely your choice. But if you don't want the internet jerks or, far worse, the fictional boogey-men, to be the only report that Christians get on your average atheist, I'm not sure of a better way to get there, than to be proudly out about your atheism. And then, once out, to not forget to be awesome.