Reader Questions- Awkward Times with Mom

Pastor Dan,  My mature mother (she despises the word old) has decided that since her lawn mower, we'll call him Mike, made himself at home in her house on weekends, this is perfectly acceptable. He never asked her.  He just hitched a ride with her to my town and he bunked at my apartment until I told her they had to go home he was making my roommate uncomfortable.  Frankly, he creeps me out.  He acts overly friendly with my mom, he tried to order me about and tries to get my attention, and overall it's a very uncomfortable situation.  Anyway, her minister has suggested she help him find a job. So on weekends Mike lives with Mom.  I have to move to her house for a couple weeks (between apartments doom) and I feel really uncomfortable with the entire situation.  My question is any suggestions on how to make this less awkward?  My mom won't discuss the matter if I say anything that isn't happy about the situation. Pax and DFTBA,            -Alicia 

Wow. That's quite the situation you have there.

On the one hand, your Mom is what we in the ministry like to refer to as a "grown-ass woman" and so obviously entitled to make her own decisions on who she invites into her home. So far as that goes, there isn't a whole lot you can do after expressing your concern with the situation, which it seems that you have.

That said, him making YOU feel uncomfortable isn't okay, either, and if you are going to be staying with her for awhile, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to express your concern there in your own way. Hopefully, simply expressing that he makes you feel unsafe will be enough... a lot of Moms put up with a lot until they go Mama Bear on someone.

If she won't, though, you might need to come up with another housing solution. Be honest and straightforward with your Mom while you do so, telling her what you're doing and why. It's great that she's trying to help Mike get a job, but I'm willing to bet your Pastor didn't have her opening her home up to bed and breakfast services on the weekend in mind, either. (We pastors can be rather protective of our "mature" members.) If she takes her pastor's word seriously, you may want to call the church and explain the situation. You may find you have an ally there.

Either way, be respectful to her and you should be fine. And, obviously, if Mike gets out of line, get authorities involved immediately. Sometimes even "mature" people can get in over their heads.

Peace,
Dan